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and without concealing our natures. Any part of our natures, she added with a knowing smile. I
wasn t expecting to have so much of that revealed so quickly though.
I flushed. Sorry about that. I was angry about a bunch of Marranite busybodies trying to
pretend they could help.
They did, only they didn t know how they would. Anyway, a number of us are bisexual or
homosexual. No one here has a problem. If they did, I d have to hang them up by their toes until
they stopped.
I laughed at her innocent expression and Hermi s scolding nudge. You really aren t
Marranites.
No, but I m happy to use them if it suits me. Kir, take him to see Dede and then let the poor
man rest, change clothes, and so on. Take a bath too.
A bath? Here?
We got...we ve got, he amended at Jeyle s look, everything. All the facilities in the world.
Cept windows and we don t need them. We ve got a daylight lounge so s we don t get sick.
We get out in the fresh air more than enough, Jeyle added. You re not trapped, I promise
you.
Maybe not in theory, but in reality, I had no chance of walking out of here. But right now, I
didn t particularly want to. I wanted my old life back, but it didn t exist any more. I was open for
any substitute that didn t involve rape and abuse.
Do you want to see Dede first, or your room? Kirvo asked when he d cleared my plate
away.
I wanted to say room but a proper medical check up was warranted. Dede, please.
She s nice. Not like them prison doctors. Those prison doctors.
From the living area, we walked down a short hall. He helped me down a little set of steps
with the same careful solicitousness he d shown all the way along.
You know me, don t you, I said, realising there had to be a reason for his attentiveness.
I ve met you before.
He smiled, but a little warily. Yeah. Had to block the memory though, for your own good.
I ll explain, but not now.
But when
He put his finger to his lips. Later. Come on. You ll like Dede.
We passed a room stuffed with electronics. Two people worked at viewcoms, intent on their
tasks.
The listening room, Kirvo explained, waving a hand at the doorway.
We didn t go in. Two rooms further on was the doctor s office and what appeared to be a
little clinic. A woman of Jeyle s age short, plump, and smiling rose to welcome me.
Jodi, I greet you. I m Dedeke. Call me Dede.
She also wore a braid. Kirvo didn t. I wondered why.
Arwe Dede, I acknowledged formally.
She laughed. Oh my, it s been years since anyone called me Arwe . I apologise for not
using your title. We don t go in for that much here.
I flushed. I d been horribly rude. No, I
It s okay, Jodi. She ain t offended.
She gave him a look. I can explain myself perfectly well, young man. Now, Jodi, I d like to
examine you. Do you want Kir to stay or go? I know you ve had some appalling experiences.
Sorry, I should have explained, I m a telepath too, she said as I glared at Kirvo for giving away
my secrets. The medics in prisons here are notoriously vicious. They re just as bad in the
women s prisons, I assure you.
I nodded, embarrassed for knowing something so intimate about her, and that she knew
about me too.
Shall I ask Kir to leave? she asked.
No...but does he have to watch?
No, of course not. Jodi, we ll go behind there.
Behind her desk and bookcases, there was a cubicle which looked much like those in any
small hospital same basic bed, same equipment. How did they get this kind of thing up here?
She drew the curtain, giving an illusion of privacy from Kirvo, who d taken a seat by her
desk. The clinic was well equipped, with a further three beds, and a door at the end of the room
with warning signs about scanning equipment being in use. I found it strange to see bare rock
instead of painted walls, though. It, like everywhere else I d seen, was brightly decorated with
woven hangings and paintings, some directly onto the rock itself, some abstract, some
naturalistic, all showing a high degree of skill. I d heard that the major level paranormals had a
tendency towards artistic talent. It seemed the rumour was true. But how long had people been
here?
Dede didn t respond to my unspoken thoughts. I didn t know if that was better than Kirvo s
honesty or not. Having had no experience of telepaths before, this disoriented me more than our
sudden mad flight across the country through the powers of telekinesis.
This is all so strange, I blurted out.
Yes. I know it is, she said, nodding sympathetically, and this is going to be a difficult
time for you, getting used to so many new things, and the naksen withdrawal on top of it. The
difference between here and prison is that we want to help you. We ve all needed it in the past,
Jodi. There s no need for shame at feeling weak.
She had very kind eyes. I felt I could trust her but what if this was all a massive mind trick?
What if she was manipulating my emotions, my thoughts...?
My chest tightened, and suddenly I needed to be out of here, in the open air, not trapped.
Sorry...I...I need to
I pushed past her and dashed for the door. Kirvo jumped to his feet, but I ignored him and his
shout. I ran back along the halls until I reached the big chamber. People, eating their lunch, all
turned and stared in surprise at my bursting into the room in a panic.
I needed...I had to get out...I didn t know how to
Jodi, calm down. You want to get out? I can take you.
Startled, I threw off Kirvo s hand and hung onto the doorpost, breath heaving with the slight
exertion and the fright.
I need to get out. I...I.... I collapsed to my knees, heart pounding, sweat breaking out.
Help me...please...let me out of here. I couldn t breathe.
He wrapped his arms around me. Shhh, shhh. Just a panic attack. Shhh.
I struggled a little, but he kept hold, murmuring and shushing. I wanted to puke.
Then Hermi was there, his hands on my shoulders. The terrors began to fade immediately,
and I found it easier to breathe. I slumped back into Kirvo s embrace, exhausted.
Easy, Jodi, Hermi whispered, massaging my shoulders. Just a little panic attack. Perfectly
normal.
Gradually the sick aftereffect of adrenaline faded, though I still felt a little nauseated. I hung
my head, bitterly ashamed of myself.
Sorry, I mumbled. I hadn t even done that in prison.
Good grief, what for? For being frightened and anxious after all that s happened? Even just
today?
What if it s all a trick? What if this isn t real? What if Kirvo and you and Dede are making
me think I m safe and I m not?
I can t make you feel anything I don t feel myself, or you don t feel. So unless I believe a
lie, I can t convince you of it, Jodi. All I ve done to you is absorb some of the darker, more
disturbing emotions so they pass from you to me. He touched his chest. I know exactly how
terrified you are. Look at me, dear boy. I stared up into his grey eyes. I m not lying to you.
Neither are they. You fear we work for Noret. Our fear is that by helping someone like you, we
expose ourselves to discovery by his people. We ve all taken a risk today.
I wanted to believe him...it made sense...but what if they were all lying....
I...I just panicked.
S all right, Jodi, Kirvo said, his hand rubbing mine, his warm, solid body behind me
soothing, reassuring. I m not lying to you. No one is. If you want to go up top, I can show you
how. If you want to go back to Vizinken, take your chances, we ll do what we can. Thing is, we
can t protect you down there like we can here.
His hands were hard and calloused against my skin. They felt honest to me. I just...let me
up. I ll stop being stupid.
He and Hermi helped me stand. I felt so ashamed, I couldn t look at either of them.
Jodi, would you like to go up top? Kirvo offered. I ll show you how the elevator works.
No, it s okay. I was being an idiot.
No, you ain t.
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